I’m 22 and I’ve never been in a relationship.
You’re probably thinking, whaaat? She’s never been in a relationship? She’s never experienced true love, the intimacy of a partner, or passion? Again, you’re most likely thinking I’m weird or whatnot.
First of all, if you’re thinking that…stop it. Second, I’m not the only one to be in this position. Like, if you’re a girl out there that has never been in a relationship, raise your hand. Be honest.
I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never had that true love, that first love at sixteen, the boy that holds your hand as you walk to prom or on a nervous first date. I will never have those teenage dating experiences.
Ladies, if you’ve never been in a relationship, or have been in crappy relationships, or even heartbroken by some guy that you thought was the one…
…that all doesn’t matter in the end. You know what does matter? If you accept Jesus into your heart, you’ll experience this overwhelming, reckless love. It will pour out of you like rain washing away all this pollen (RIP allergies). If you pursue a relationship with Jesus, then the right guy will come along.
It can be hard to date in the 21st century. You are faced with all these pressures to have a boyfriend, go on dates, and explore this newfound freedom that’s called a “hookup phase.” And if you don’t want to participate in this “hookup culture” (aka me) then you’ll feel even more left out when all your friends are talking about sex.
BUT GIRL. Let them talk about that, it’s their life and they can literally do whatever they want with their bodies (#girlpower). Honestly, what truly matters is not how many guys you’ve kissed, how many dates you can score, or how many Tinder matches you can rack up. What truly matters is that you have one God that loves you unconditionally. He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die on the cross for us and wipe away our sins. God created you as an individual to live an abundant life on this earth. And you want to know a secret? Listen closely…
…God created another person on this planet that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. Isn’t that so freaking cool?!
God created this human being that is meant to “complete” you. He looked down at the both of you and said, “you two are going to meet and get married and live happily ever after together.” (aka me playing the Sims 4.) But then…He went on to say, “But first, I need you to do these things and walk this path individually first.” He wants the both of you to seek Him first.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”Matthew 6:33
There’s no such thing as the “perfect guy.” Everyone is imperfect. God created you and a soulmate for you.
God did create your “soulmate.” But He intended for you to live an abundant life. First things first, He intended for you to pursue/have a relationship with Jesus. Second, the type of guy you’re going to end up with is a guy who loves God more than anything in the world (including you). The type of guy that you should be with RIGHT NOW is…well, I can only think of one man: Jesus. He will always be there for you, even when it seems like you’re hiding from Him. He’ll lift your head out of the shadows, take your sins and wash them away, and most importantly, show you the reckless, overwhelming love of God. That’s better than any boyfriend or “teenage dating experience” in my opinion.
Ladies, the type of guy you should be looking for is the type of guy who pursues Jesus with all his heart. That’s it. That type of guy will love you, cherish you, make you mac and cheese when you’re sick, dance around the living room to Taylor Swift, go see cheesy rom-coms (or that new Marvel movie)…the list is endless. But more importantly, because he has a relationship with Jesus, he’ll push you to grow in your relationship with Him. The foundation of your relationship will be based on rock; it will not fall.
Hold out for the guy that God picked out for you — that God created for you. Don’t feel left out when all your friends/family are getting engaged, settling down, having babies…there will be a time for you. God has someone out there for you. He has someone for you that will be the one that “completes” you. But first…God wants you to be patient. God is telling me to tell you to be patient, to wait for that guy who He created for you. In Genesis chapter 2, God created a mate for every living creature — except for Adam. He saw there was no “suitable helper” for him. So, he created Eve.
“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.”Genesis 2:21-22
See? God’s putting you in this “deep sleep” like he did Adam. And when the time is right, you will wake up and you’ll see the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
Side note: my friends and family are in deep and meaningful relationships. Find a friend or family member who’s in a relationship. Look to theirs as hope instead of comparison. Maybe it’s your parents’, your best friend and their significant other, or the Obamas. Having “role models” like these will help you see what a true partnership looks like.
I may have never been in a relationship, but I have the love of Jesus. This intimate, loving relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And man oh man, it’s a rollercoaster but it is worth it. It’s something to be treasured.